GodsView : Love’s Departure!

GodsView : Love’s Departure!: While the loss of love is a disheartening experience in any area of life, there is one area in which the consequences are most serious: w...

Love’s Departure!

While the loss of love is a disheartening experience in any area of life, there is one area in which the consequences are most serious: when we lose our spiritual love for the things of God. I have seen this happen to many Christians in my years as a pastor; and, like all Christians, I have even felt the temptations myself. Without diligence, the fire of love that burned brightly when we first met Jesus Christ can begin to fade and provide lesser and lesser amounts of light in this world.
How to Lose Your Love
There is no greater love than the love we have for Christ. But, regardless of the object, love is love. The way we leave our love—whether love for Christ, the Scriptures, prayer, our family, or our ministry—is the same in every case.
We leave by lusting. If we do not guard against the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life (1 John 2:16), we can leave the things of Christ in pursuit of the things of this world. Money, position, power, influence, possessions—these are powerful enticements for the one who has not maintained a close walk with Jesus.
We leave by lack of attention. It stands to reason that what we ignore, we will eventually care little about. If we ignore the Bible, our spouse, our responsibilities as a parent, our life in the church—it will only be a matter of time before we find little or no love for those parts of our life. It takes years for a woodwind or brass instrument player to develop the embouchure in his mouth and lips that allows him to produce beautiful music. But it only takes a few weeks of inattention to the instrument for it to be lost.
We leave by lack of perseverance. The greatest myth about sacrificial, heart-based love is that it is easy. The truth is, nothing could be harder because true love is the opposite of human nature. Love takes work, diligence, and perseverance. It’s easy to sleep in instead of rising to pray and read the Bible, and easier to take a spouse for granted than to practice acts of kindness. And it’s easy not to take up our cross and follow Jesus as His disciples when the way gets hard.
We leave by laziness. Sometimes it’s not temptation or trials or time or the world—it’s just us! We can easily go through life as a couch potato, surfing the channels on TV or surfing the Web on our computer. We can while away an hour, a half day, a weekend . . . we can while away a lifetime by living an unfocused, self-centered, lazy life. It’s human nature to do so, and the quicker we recognize that pattern and correct it, the sooner we’ll find love returning.
We leave by lapsing. Finally, we can leave our love by lapsing into sin—and staying there. We’re going to sin in this life. But if we don’t confess and repent of our sin when it happens, we are opening up the door for that sin to become a lifestyle. Jesus told the church at Ephesus that unless they repented, He would remove the lampstand—the light of His presence—from their midst (Revelation 2:5).
How to Find and Keep Your Love
God calls us to love Him, our spouse, our children, the church, the lost—there are many objects worthy of our sacrificial love. But if we ever leave our first love—our love for Jesus Christ—we will not be able to love anyone or anything else as we should.
The way we rekindle and keep our love for Jesus and others is by reversing what we did to lose it. In short, stay close to and focused on serving those you should love. Rekindling the flame of love for Jesus will cause that flame to spread and burn brightly for everyone and everything in your life.

GodsView : Step-family Dynamics!

GodsView : Step-family Dynamics!: If you’re from my generation you’ll remember the song that started… “Here’s a story / of a lovely lady / who was bringing up three very...

Step-family Dynamics!

If you’re from my generation you’ll remember the song that started… “Here’s a story / of a lovely lady / who was bringing up three very lovely girls…” Most of us could probably sing the rest of the song by memory. The story behind that sitcom theme song involved a recently widowed mother with three girls who married a widowed father with three boys. Except for a few minor bumps along the way, the new family with six kids gets along without a hitch. The kids respect both parents and like each other, for the most part. Sure there’s some jealously with Marsha over boys, or slight problems with Greg over at his job at the ice cream parlor, but the Brady Bunch seemed to blend almost instantly, proving that bringing two families together is easy and everything will turn out hunky-dory.

Yeah right.

In talking with divorced and widowed parents who have gone through the great experiment of blending families, it is never as easy as the old television shows portrayed. Mixing stepparents with kids can be like mixing oil and water. There are challenges with loyalty (This is my dad and I only listen to him!) There are issues with discipline (Which parent punishes which kids?) Plus, there are trials with alignment (How can a single mom, whose main priority is her children, move to being a new wife, and placing her husband first?)

Blending families is difficult, but that that’s not to say it can’t be done. In talking with parents and kids of combined families, I have gleaned some helpful tips on making the whole thing work.

Seek Out Advice
Before you even say “I do” to a new spouse and kids, search out parents who have traveled the same road that’s now before you. Just like new couples benefit from pre-martial counseling, so new families should take advantage of pre-blending counseling.

Sit down with parents in your church, work, school, or from extended family and pick their brain.  Talk about the pitfalls and the blessings of raising step-kids, navigating a new marriage, dealing with “exes” and all the other important topics before you step into the new family. Ask questions like, “If you could do it all over, what would you do differently?” Or “What obstacles were the hardest to overcome?” Then get practical, and down to the nitty-gritty. “Who disciplines the kids? How do you avoid favoritism?”

You might think that you have thought about all these important issues and you have all your bases covered. But there could be topics that come out of your conversation that you had never thought about before. So learn from other people’s mistakes or successes. Don’t go blindly into blending a family without talking with couples who have experienced the same family dynamics and can offer you valuable insights.

Solidify the Rules
Parents have different styles of raising kids. Maybe your new husband is more passive and permissive. Maybe your new wife has unique ideas on chores and allowances. This can cause tension, confusion, and animosity in the home. It’s important that whatever the rules are, make sure you set them in stone before bringing both families together. Also, take time to discuss who will dish out the discipline for the family and how it will be handled across the board.

A sweet girl who was staying with us in our Heartlight campus told me that she has been struggling with bitterness towards her stepmother and stepsisters, because her father treats her and her biological siblings differently. Since he doesn’t feel right disciplining his new wife’s kids, her father is especially hard on his girls, while the step kids (she feels) tend to get away with more.

Be careful to avoid favoritism in your home! Solidify the rules of the new blended family, and treat each person with the same grace and structure. Our natural inclination is to go easier on the kids that are not our own, or to be timid about showing love to step kids openly to avoid jealously. But to make a mixed family work, you have to handle each kid like your own. Lavish them equally with love. Expect them to follow the same rules. And discipline them like you would your own kids. It won’t be easy, and there will be growing pains, but in time the relationships will be become stronger if everyone gets a fair shake.

Suppose Difficulty
I wish that I could give each member of a blended family a quick solution that would make the process go easier and smoother. Sadly, there is no quick fix. Blending families is tough. There will be difficulties and hardships, especially for the children involved. There is deep emotional turmoil associated with losing parents that makes mixing families challenging.

I found out a few years ago that I have a kidney disease, which is treatable, but my doctor put me on a strict diet. Among others things, peanut M&M’s are on the do-not-eat list. Now, I happen to love peanut M&M’s. When I go to speaking engagements, all I ask for is peanut M&M’s and bottled water. But I had to stop cold turkey. One Halloween my grand daughter told me “Grandpa, you can’t have my M&M’s, cause you’ll die. But here, you can have my skittles.” It was a sweet offer. But ever since then, whenever I see skittles, I’m reminded that I can’t have what I really want — peanut M&M’s.

In the same way, when kids look at stepparents or step-brothers or sisters, they’re reminded of what they can’t have. They can’t have their mom and dad together. Now they have to share their parents. And that can be an overwhelming emotion to experience every day. So understand that it will take time to make a new family work. Experts say that they average time to bring two families together, cohesively, is seven years! Don’t expect that after everyone moves in together all you’ll need is a couple of months to work out the kinks. With those types of expectations, you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment. Rather, go in with eyes wide open to the fact that it will require adjustments, work, and grace for many years to make a blended family successful.

Set Aside Time
Blending families is not a passive activity. It requires a constant movement forward to accomplish the goal. This means that more time will have to be invested into the family than ever before. That could involve less time at work and more time with your new family. Or it could demand giving up your seat on an important committee because your stepchildren need you. When bringing two families together, spending time with each member, letting them know that they have value and meaning, is crucial.

So take the time to go to coffee with your new stepdaughter alone. Take your new son to the movies, just the two of you. Words are important, but show that love in gifts of time with each kid. It will make a huge difference in each child’s life.

While blending two separate families can be a difficult job, it can also be deeply satisfying. Mixing families will never be as easy as the Brady Bunch made to out be. But with consistent work, effort and love, it can be just as successful.

GodsView : A Symbol of Love, The Empathetic Cross!

GodsView : A Symbol of Love, The Empathetic Cross!: Henry Dunant grew up a well-to-do Swiss Calvinist home, where he watched his parents do one good deed after another, driven by Christia...

A Symbol of Love, The Empathetic Cross!

Henry Dunant grew up a well-to-do Swiss Calvinist home, where he watched his parents do one good deed after another, driven by Christian empathy for the needy. His father labored tirelessly to assist orphans and ex-prisoners, and his mother had a burden for the sick and poor.
This was a time of spiritual revival in Switzerland, and Henry grew up feeling compelled to do all he could to serve Christ. As a teenager, he helped organize young men in regular Bible studies and in projects for the poor. He helped found a chapter of the YMCA in Geneva. In college, Dunant was so preoccupied with his mercy ministries that he neglected to study. At age 21, he was forced out of school by poor grades. He found a job, worked hard, established his own business, and prospered.
            On June 24, 1859, while traveling in Italy on business, Henry arrived in the town of Solferino in the aftermath of a battle that had resulted in 38,000 wounded soldiers. The scene shocked him—thousands of young men were writhing in pain, and there seemed to be no one to help them. Henry abandoned all thought of business and went to work organizing the local people to assist the wounded troops. He convinced volunteers to aid all soldiers regardless of what side of the conflict they were on.
            Dunant returned to Geneva a changed man. He was haunted by the fact there was no organized way of caring for wounded soldiers in times of war. Writing a book of his experiences, he had it self-published and distributed to political and military leaders. It included a plan for creating a politically-neutral organization to care for wounded soldiers regardless of the uniform they wore. Ultimately his efforts were rewarded. On February 17, 1863, a committee of five men gathered to establish the “International Committee for Relief to the Wounded.” Shortly afterward the name was changed to the “International Committee of the Red Cross.”
            Why the Red Cross? This organization was established in Switzerland, and in trying to think of a protective symbol for hurt soldiers and medics, it seemed sensible to use the symbol on the Swiss flag. Switzerland’s flag is red with a white cross. The origin of the flag dates to the thirteenth century when the emperor carried a banner bearing the cross as a holy sign, understanding himself to be the protector of Christianity. Ultimately it points back to the cross of Christ.
The founders of the Red Cross took the flag, reversed the colors, and created a red cross on a white background. Thus the Red Cross became a symbol of empathy and mercy that has brought immeasurable healing and relief to a world rent by war.
            The cross is a symbol of love and an emblem of ministry to the sick, poor, widowed, hungry, oppressed, abused, endangered, and illiterate. From the beginning, the cross has represented an empathetic Savior, One who felt the pain of sinners and sacrificed His life for their salvation. As believers, we should bare the marks of the cross in how we live and in how we respond to the hurting.

A Short History of Empathy
            Many people don’t realize the brutality of the Roman world into which Jesus was born. Empathy and compassion didn’t extend beyond the family circle. Life was cheap, and society was harsh and heartless. Jesus came with a message of love, and His parable of the Good Samaritan was like a lightning bolt of love in a blackened sky. In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus told of a man who’d been waylaid and robbed on the road between Jerusalem and Jericho. Various passersby saw the man injured and lying in the ditch. But only one person—a Samaritan—stopped to help.
But in Luke 9, Jesus was rejected by a village of Samaritans as He traveled to Jerusalem and His appointment with Calvary. He did not revile. He was not angry like the disciples, He simply traveled on to the next village. In Luke 9, the Samaritans disdained Jesus; in Luke 10, Jesus commended a Samaritan.
Our Lord was (and is) a good forgiver. His spirit was (and is) impervious to harboring bitterness or resentment. He taught empathy and compassion, and He told us in this parable: “Go and do likewise” (Luke 10:37). Whatever our role in life, let’s find a way today to carry on the Christian tradition of extending the love of Jesus to others under the banner of His cross

GodsView : Beyond hearing God’s Word, we should be receiving ...

GodsView : Beyond hearing God’s Word, we should be receiving ...: For Your words bring life And Your voice speaks promises Lord, Your love offers more Than anything else in this world James 1:22-25 ...

Beyond hearing God’s Word, we should be receiving God’s Word!

For Your words bring life
And Your voice speaks promises
Lord, Your love offers more
Than anything else in this world
James 1:22-25
Beyond hearing God’s Word, we should be receiving God’s Word. Jesus began one of his most important sermons by saying “Blessed are the poor in spirit” (Matthew 5:3). As we listen to God’s Word, it is important to maintain a humble heart. This is the attitude of a person prepared to receive what God has for us.
When we receive God’s Word, we are ready for the most important part: putting God’s Word into action. As believers, we literally act as the Word of God to the world today. This is a big responsibility, but one that we can fulfill if we adhere to James 1:22: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” Jesus has set a great model for us to follow, as he regularly incorporated Scriptures into his everyday encounters.
Jesus’ example, as well as his teachings on God’s Word, are perhaps best summed up in Matthew 4:4, when he responded to temptation by stating that “Man cannot live by bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”  Indeed, God’s Word brings us life. Take time to listen, receive, and apply his Word in your life.
Prayer:
God, give me ears to hear your Word in the world, a heart to receive it, and a faith to put it into action.
Amen